ATTENDED A RELIEF SOCIETY (LDS/ MORMOM WOMEN) CONFERENCE...and delivered a very important message

i wasnt a keynote speak, didnt really go for much more than a time to be with other women of the same faith, but to be even more real..it was a free dinner, lol

not gonna lie. im down for anything related to FOOD!! lol so i went for the free dinner. :) wasnt disapointed either.

we were all in the chapel to start and had a couple of speakers.

i was surprised to see President Bean there, im not sure why i was surprised, but i wasnt expecting him there, and he was.
hes a great guy. love him.

he knows my past and what brought me to oklahoma, and has watched me transform from a caterpillar to a butterfly, and i like to make him proud.
someday, maybe, ill talk about all of that history here, im not required to, and quite frankly wont make a difference in my right here right now moment. the only thing it has done, was to help make me better and more spiritual, was a LONG process to get there (well, long to me, anyway) but im on the road.

but my reason for loving Bean so much is the fact, that despite my past, which he knows way to well, he still loves me and DOES NOT JUDGE ME because of it. i wish allot more ppl could come to this place where we can know about someones past, or hold a grudge, or have a grievance because of them, and just..love them despite of it, and not judge them because of it.
wed be a much happier world if we all followed the dictates of Christ.

so, he spoke at the start of the conference, and someone else spoke...and then we were let free to go to whatever 3 of the 6 choices we wanted to go to to edify ourselves.

 i was with a couple of sister from my congregation, and had started to go with them to a class, and had to stop to visit  President Bellows, i see him almost every sunday, as he is the branch president for the Singles Ward (congregation) that also meets in out building.
so, i stopped to tell him hello, and spoke a few minutes, and went to the class my companions were in, and i got there a little late. and for whatever reason, wasnt scared or anything to go in, there was plenty of room, i just was inspired to go back to belllows class...
i am not sorry i did.

i learned a thing about bellows i didnt know..he had a pretty distant relationship with his parents, like i had with mine. ya know? id never have known that. i also didnt know he was basically less active till he was 22, reminded me of myself, in a lot of ways...
i was a bit sad to find out the bell rang, and it was time to change classes..
so i get up to leave, and my companions were coming in...so, i got a double dose of bellows and wasnt disapointed on my 2nd turn either, he talked some of the same stuff, but went a bit deeper about his past in the 2nd session. i appreciated his honesty.

and his whole thing was how women from the church came in and were comassionate, and nurturing when his arent split and basically went cold on the kids.
he was telling us ladies, that while we may not be able to hold the preisthood of the church, we have a whole different responsibility, that altho we may not realize it, resonates and impacts those around us.
and it was refreshing to hear a guy tell a group (actually 2 groups, well, 3 cause he had a whole 'nother class after my 2nd session with him) of ladies how he was so appreciative for the role God gave us to do.
that in HIS life, it mattered. and made a HUGE difference.
really enjoyed bellows  classes.

so, bell rang again, and i went with my companions to the chapel to where we were edified about Discovering Self-Worth & Spirituality.
now this class was a class right up my alley! glad i was in it too.
for the 1st time in my history of being a member of the church i heard psychology infused with doctrine, and how we will take statements and make them truth about ourselves. and we learned how to take  pointless statements we often make ourselves believe, and toss them, by using a system of checks against eachother.
 is it TRUTH (with a capital "T") meaining an eternal truth? such as: i am a child of God, thats a statement that wont change, and cant be changed, its eternal. I am my mothers daughter. Thats also an eternal truth, shes always going to be my mom. i cant, or wont ever change that. so TRUTHS (eternal) are things that will never eve change.
then theres truths with a lowwer case "t" and these are truths as well, that become truths when set beside an eternal truth.
such as: Im going to Heaven. this statement while positive, isnt a conclusive statement. im not in control of my judgment, only what i do to be judged, we all have redemption, and  will eatiehr be in paradise or prison. but i predicate which place i end up.

then theres the NOT TRUTHS. which are simply things that are not true. plain and simple.
example: Im dumb. while i lack allot in math and spelling, i am by far very intelligent.
My mom hates me. sometimes i feel like this is a true statement, and im having to learn to realize thats not the truth at all. she never hated me. she just didnt know how to love me. whole different thing all together.

i really got allot out of this class. and very pleased i got to be a part of it.


and then, the bell rang.
and..it was TIME TO EAT! not gonna lie, i was really looking forward to this part, lol
so we walk in the gym, and they had tables all set up and ready for us. preset tables with cute little silverware napkins.

 and a salad ready to be eaten.

 rolls were handed out as we were munching on our salads. sister holley brought her own beans and shared them with me, cause she doesnt eat meat. made my salad that much more filling, and delish!

main course was a chicken..something, i cant remember what it was called, but it was slit in the middle and had butter and herbs in there, and..it was good, i had sister holleys chicken too, and by the time dessert came, i was quite full..lol

but NONE of that compared to when the spirit hit me to talk to a sister missionary serving in our ward.
just out of the blue, her comapnion asked what she had done to her arm. i must be getting seriously old, because i didnt really notice anything, but she expalined she was poking herself with her fork.

which i thought was odd, since she and her companion and myself were talking about Christ. surely she wasnt doing that because she was bored...it had to be because of something else...
and i was inspired to say to her...she needed to find out the reason, get to the core of that reason why she felt like doing that action, which was in essence a way of outwardly expressing something deep inside her.

and i went on, and for the life of me cant recall much of what i said, other than i knew the chatter in her head that she was hearing wasnt true, it never really ever is when its negative.

i told her that every single day of my life i wake up and hear the phrases that have been so much a part of my upbringing, and i fight them every day..
"your dumb"
"your stupid"
"you dont mean anything to anyone"
"your worthless"
"unimportant"
"your nothing"
and i can go on and on, and on...

but every day i wake up and i tell myself im awesome..not because i really am, but because thats what makes me be motivated towards being MORE than the chatter in my head.
and because i say it, i try to remind myself i am a divine being, came from another divine being (my Heavenly Father). because Hes a part of me, im part of Him, in return. in that, is magnificence!

and, all of a sudden, our sister missionary, was crying...and, so was i.
we were crying together at the same time, over, i believe the same kind of chatter that happens in our heads, and i told her she should NEVER feel worthless, because ppl like myself...look up to her, and aspire to be like her, because i never had the chance to go and do what shes doing.

i hope what i said made a difference.
she sent me a text to landline message on my home phone.
was thanking me for my moment with her.

and today (sunday im writing this) i sent them a text:
Hey, sisters remember we are made of divine material. We come from our Heavenly Father. We have within us the same Divine nature. The same divine rights and responsibilities. NO amount of Satans chatter in our minds will EVER change that. we are eect!

and a text back:

you are SO AWESOME! thats so much! we love you!

so, i go for food, and end up uplifiting another woman, to greater places.
cant go wrong for doing the right thing for someone else. :)